Six days until a new Plum book hits the stands. Apparently this one will be much like the other twelve: no resolution in regards to the Morelli and Ranger debate. Much like reaching a conclusion of 'whose side Snape is really on', it seems Janet is loathe to make her commitments known. She loves instead to play her “The Lady or The Tiger” card and leave us fans squirming and wailing in the background, wishing for our commercial fiction to have a bit less ambiguity and a lot more Ranger.
Because face it, it’s gotta be Ranger.
And in honor of that Man of Mystery, let’s list the top 10 things you can (and should) do with Ranger, should you ever cross paths:
1.) Have him ruin you for all other men
2.) Drive his car—and get it hijacked, or at least suitably wrecked
3.) Take him out for pie
4.) Think of new and impressive ways to amuse him, mainly by being yourself
5.) Elope to Vegas—this will be especially exciting since he’s got a warrant out for him in Nevada
6.) Invite your wily, sex-crazed grandmother over to hit on him; laugh when he squirms
7.) Give him a bubble bath—and use a lot of that good-smelling soap of his as you suds him up
8.) Exchange sexually-charged banter for hours—then go home and take a cold shower (it’s what Janet does to Stephanie in every episode of the Ranger show)
9.) Dress up in your best CFM outfit and pretend you’re helping him catch a mark
10.)Have him ruin you for all other men—because the first time, while memorable, is never
enough
Anything special you’d like to do with Ranger?
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11 comments:
Oh, the ideas are endless. Since I have sort of already been ruined for other men I think I'd better test the theory with Ranger. I'm thinking I would like to be ruined six ways from Sunday.
Twice.
Holy moly one of my favorite subjects! Ranger!!
Since Ranger has already ruined me for all other men, (shhh, let's not tell anyone that, especially not Matty), I have regular thoughts about what I'm going to do to Ranger when I get my hands on him:
1. I'm going to ruin him for all other women.
2. I don't need cuffs to enslave a man.
3. I'm going to push him against the alley wall and frustrated the hell out of him and walk away.
4. I'm going to take him up to his apartment, whisper dirty things in his ear and then show him that I wasn't joking when I suggested said dirty things.
5. Shower massager. 'Nuff said.
6. Role Playing. 'Nuff said.
7. Use him like a stripper pole.
8. Let him ruin me for all other men... again.
9. Find new reasons to call him the CSG (Cuban Sex God).
10. Make a home video to keep me warm at night while he's away.
11. When he comes home, reinact every moment of the home video.
12. I have more but I'll spare you. LOL
PS. I can't wait until I get a new fix of canon Ranger. Hellion, brilliant blog darlin'. I've been over at the 360 flirting with Ranger. lol.
Gee Sin, you've put some thought into this. LOL! I was with you until the video tape. Major fear of winding up on the internet. But the rest of that I could surely get on board with.
The only thing you missed is the shower but Hellion got that one, didn't she? I think we've got it all down.
Oh, what about an airplane. Private jet. Talk about reaching new altitudes!
I added in shower massager. I can think up several dirty things for a shower massager...
And who cares about the internet! I'm sleeping with the CSG!!
Well, of course, she'd wanted it posted on the internet. Do you know how difficult it IS to get a picture of Ranger? And to have proof of how awesome he is in bed by counting the number of times Sin screams, "Yes" or "Oh, God"--no, no, it's being taped.
Matty just can never see it.
Yeah, that wouldn't bode well. But I'd be screaming his name like he was trying to get me to say, mercy.
I don't know. Doesn't Ranger have a kid and an ex-wife? There's some baggage there. And then there's Morelli, footloose and fancy-free...and Stephanie's first. Why not her last? A perfect circle.
*ducking for cover now*
Wow, Maggie, you just might be the bravest woman I know.
And I'm sure there will be times on that tape that Sin is not screaming or moaning. It's not nice to talk with your mouth full you know...
Terrio good point. lol
Maggie, I have debated both sides of the coin where Morelli and Ranger are concerned and Morelli just doesn't do it for me. If I were Steph, I'd be sleeping with both of them as often as I could, thus proving why I'm not Stephanie. lol Ranger has a lot of issues, but so does Morelli. They are equal but not; and I think the mysterious(ness) of Ranger is what draws readers into him and since we don't know all about the baggage he has, I'm more inclined to jump his bones and ask about it later.
Okay, I'll hop off my soapbox. We've been on this topic all week, and my soapbox is getting worn out. lol.
Would this be the time to point out that these men do not exist?
Didn't think so...
It's too bad really. I could really ruin Ranger. :)
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