Pisces' Rule

Pisces are usually given a lot of credit for a lot of things. We're the death sign; we're supposed to be the "evolved' one of the bunch because we've been around longest. Usually we have several past lives under our belt.

We're the astrological trash can of all the other signs, plus a little something extra. That I can agree with. But since most sites tell you why should you be glad you're a Pisces, and it's all dreamy, love, peace crap--I thought I'd share the real reasons you can be glad you're a Pisces.

1) No one ever expects you to finish anything, and if you do, everyone is really surprised and supportive.

2) Everyone thinks you’re going to be an alcoholic anyway—you might as well drink.

3) Two words: self-destructive. Break out the fun!

4) #3 is the perfect excuse why you’re breaking up with whoever you’re dating. “Baby, it’s me, not you.” And for once, this will be true. It really is you.

5) You’re an excellent liar because you’re used to making up excuses as to why you were late or didn’t show up for something, because you were actually drinking.

6) All alcoholics make the best actors and/or writers (Liz Taylor anyone? You can’t tell me she’s never slung back the hooch)—and those are the only really two cool jobs worth doing anyway. Plus you can sleep in late for both of them.

7) You spend most of your time in the perpetual dream world of your mind, which is okay, because it’s a hell of a lot better than the reality of your Gas Station Attendant job. We call it: being imaginative.

8) You make the best martyr victim. You bring your own cross to the execution.

9) Your friends adore you because no matter what they have done, you’re cool with it. You always believe it could be worse—mostly because it could be. You’re always willing to explain away their faults as simple human failings we all have.

10) You’re a people pleaser—because you really want people to like you—which works out for everyone in bed. (Plus there was all that daydreaming you were doing while you were pumping gas… *makes rainbow motion, looks starry eyed and says* “Imagination.”)

11) People use these words to describe you: “quirky”, “unique”, and “dreamy”, which is better than the words they use for some of the other signs, which are usually, “critical”, “flaky”, and “tight-fisted.”

12) You’re excellent at making friends. Usually with the ones you wake up next to the day after a bitching party while doing #2. Because they think you’re quirky, unique, and a total freak in bed, they will usually keep your number for a booty call.

[Jackie would totally tell me this was full of crap, but she thinks astrology is crap anyway. This is still true.]