Can't Help Lovin' That Crazy WIP of Mine....

Oh, listen, sister,
I love my manuscript,
And I can't tell you why.
There ain’t no reason…
Why I should love this prose
It must be something that the devil only know…

Phones gotta ring, emails gotta fly,
I gotta write this manuscript till I die—<
Can’t help this crazy plot of mine….

Tell me it’s trite, tell me’s slow,
Tell me the dumb hero has got to go…
Can’t help this crazy plot of mine…

When I don’t write a line…
I near go out of my mind…
But when I sit with my pen and write—
That day is fine…those words do shine.

This plot can go to eternity,
Crazy and trite, I don’t care how it be.
Can’t help this crazy plot of mine.

*can anyone tell I have a thing for Howard Keel flicks? Man, was he HOT!

A Francelot Parody

Writing Muse! Writing Muse!
At boring work I heard your cry.
Writing Muse! Writing Muse!
Here I am, ready to shoot the sky.
I know in my heart the book I should write,
And I shall publish it with all my might.

A writer of the Vagabonds should be creative,
Succeed where a less ingenious gypsy would flunk.
Write a sentence without a single gerund,
Compose a sex scene to leave the readers stunned,
Pen a book that no reader would dare refund.
No matter the struggle, she ought to be unflaggable,
Impossible scenerios should be as natural as air.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A writer so *extraordinaire*?

C'est moi! C'est moi, I'm forced to confess.
'Tis I, I meekly reply.
That mortal who
These wonders can do,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never lost
In penned prose or wit;
I'm simply the best by far.
When characters are crossed
'Tis always the same:
One keystroke and au revoir!
C'est moi! C'est moi! I am so blessed!
An Amish Nora Roberts unbound.
And here I sit, with wit audacious,
Exeption'ly corny, steamin’ly salacious,
To serve at the Gypsy campfire round!

The soul of a writer should be quite outstanding,
Her heart and her mind as brave as Will Ferrell.
With a force and resolve
Round all ideas do revolve
She could easily work a Happy Ending in Hell.
To love and desire she ought to be demanding,
The ways of the flesh should offer every allure.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A writer so sexually secure?
(C'est moi!)

C'est moi! C'est moi, I blush to disclose.
I'm far too noble to lie.
That writer in whom
These qualities bloom,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never procrastinated
From the book I am writing;
I'm blessed with a one-tracked mind.
Had I published
Far before now,
I’d still be on tours with fan lines.
C'est moi! C'est moi! The angels have chose
To write their love scenes in prose,
And here I stand, as wicked as Sodom,
Incredibly boastful, with ego to spare,
The conceitedest writer I know!
C'est moi!

Books, Banes, and Bast....

I've been drinking a lot lately, I admit. And last Saturday was no different. I stopped by Pam's house and realized they were going out, and they invited me. They even invited me knowing that a certain guy would be in the group. Pam's brother-in-law, who is this guy I share on-again, off-again witty banter (and occasionally more), and who also happens to be married. For a second time. "Unhappily."

I'll let everyone pause for a second to remember the plot of my current WIP and go "Holy Shit."

It's really not quite the same. Pam is far nicer. Her husband would NEVER do the things he does in my WIP. This guy is not Ben. He IS the inspiration for Ben though--and I can say that here, because he has absolutely no idea about this blog...or my writing (well, not much anyway)...or well, let's just say, I figure it's good odds he'll not figure it out. Unless the book gets published...and he buys it. But again, it's not really him. Oh, well, I'm done arguing with myself about this....

Any way at some point during the evening, he says to me, "Hellion, you've always been the bane of my existence." This is possibly in direct irritation of him asking a question I didn't want to answer and I said I plead the fifth.

Nice. I concurred he'd always been MY bane as well. We smile. We make our reluctant goodbyes, and he leaves.

Then I looked up bane today, just to be sure it was what I was thinking. It was.

He could have meant any of the following:

1. A person who ruins or spoils. (I have not ruined anything. I think we can mark this off the list.)

2. A deadly poison. (Flattering, but unlikely.)

3. Death, destruction or ruin. (This one has possibilities. I think we really would be the death of each other.)

4. A source of persistent annoyance or exasperation. (Ooh, I think we might have a winner. I'm annoying. Now there's a surprise.)

5. Something that causes misery or death. (Also a possibility.)

So question of the day: Has anyone inspired you to make them a character in your book? Do you have anyone you'd classify as a bane (and nobody better say me--I'm just saying)? And which definition was he shooting for? Annoying or misery?

Woohooo

14 days until HP7 is released; 4 days until the movie's released (and 5 days until I actually get to see it and go to the Harry Potter Feast in KC). Everything is so close I can almost taste it.

Then about a week and a half after that, I'll be in Virginia, doing my damnest to not be Amish.

2007 is a great year. But I knew it would be. It has a 7 in it. 7's a great number; and if you add up 2007, it makes 9, which is 3 x 3, and 3 is an awesome number too.

Now I need to go write on Adam & Eve's story. I have to give Adam a makeover and turn him into Brad Pitt, which he kinda looks like. Eve is going to spit fire. It's going to be awesome.

What's your favorite number and what will you be doing today? In a few weeks?

The Sassy Scribblers

I spent my Saturday with my Critique Group, the Sassy Scribblers. (Sometimes we’re The Sassy Scribes; we’re never quite sure which one we are, but to be fair, we only just decided on our name last month. I mean, there’s three of us, for crying out loud. It’s just easier to call each other by our names.) I love my critique group. Both of these ladies are the most generous, upbeat, fun, witty, hilarious…well, you’ve got the picture.

We meet the first Saturday of every month, usually at this place just off I-70 called “Maggie’s Café”, a lovely trucker’s stop off with awesome food for cheap prices, and the waitresses are characters—and unbelievably accommodating. We even have an agenda (to keep on task), and the last thing on the list every month is the same: PIE. You see where most of our priorities lie.

I have been a part of critique groups in the past. Once upon a time when I got “very serious” about writing (the Lucy book, if anyone is interested), I joined an online critique group. That was an interesting experience, to put it politely. I think it meant well initially, but as with anything online—and with any group over a number of two—it got to be a hotbed of potential Middle East activity. Flamers, Righteous-Critiquers, the whole nine yards. In fact, at one point when the group seemed to have turned on one lone member, I jumped in to say “I don’t think she meant anything by it”—and got flamed myself. Of course, I did win a brand new friend—and we merrily exited said group and made our own. *LOL* She was an awesome critiquer—up until she quit writing altogether.

So we remained friends and I went in search of another critique group. I joined the Missouri chapter of RWA—which had another group of lovely fun thoughtful ladies; however, their critique group met on Tuesdays in St. Louis. I live 2 ½ hours away. I’m a dedicated writer—okay mostly dedicated—but I couldn’t see myself driving 5 hours round-trip to meet with these guys, so I had to settle for the once a month meetings. They’re good, but weren’t the same as having a critique group. Then I met Kris, also a part of the MORWA, and also not a fan of the Tuesday meetings—and thus Sassy Scribblers was born.

I cannot recommend enough the importance of critique groups. Critiquing other people’s work improves your writing; and them critiquing you also improves your writing. The support keeps you writing—it is a lonely business and there is no replacing having your butt in the chair and writing every day, but I have to say, having people who go, “This is so good. What if you did this?” helps you out of writer’s block and keeps you focused on the big prize of finishing.

Meeting once a month with my small group is enough for me to write and help others. There are some groups that critique and submit once a week, and I don’t think these people sleep…or email or anything. But there is a critique group out there that can meet your needs. I know. I found one. You can too.

Are you for or against critique groups? Have you learned anything from being in a critique group? Would you like to be in a critique group? Or are you a reader and are very thrilled you don’t have to bother with things like critique groups?