If you scroll back to Feb 2007 (Feb 9) to be exact, you'll find this post below. I have been feeling melancholy and pissy and weepy and all accounts depressed.
I'm also been feeling a need to dust off my resume and move somewhere far away.
Funnily enough, a year ago I felt the exact same way. Only, I don't want to work in retail...and I don't want to go back to school. I'm not exactly cut out for office work, where I'm currently miserable; and the more I try to write, the more I think maybe I'm not cut out for that either.
How do you figure out what you're good for?
As I sit at my desk, trying to get out of doing folders (story of my life), I look down at my little desk companion, Captain Jack Sparrow Bobblehead, and I think, God, what I wouldn’t give for a Miami Vice right about now. (Miami Vice being the name given to a Carnival Cruise drink that was a layered drink of half pina colada and half strawberry daiquiri. Rum is a beautiful thing.) *taps Jack’s braids and he agrees with a bobble nod*
If I had my druthers, I would be sitting on a beach in Grand Cayman with my Miami Vice and my bobblehead doll (the real Jack Sparrow is temporarily unavailable), and I soak in the warm delicious sunshine, blind fellow beach combers with my pasty white skin, and dream about being a pirate.
No, not the scurvy, short life expectancy parts. The interesting parts. Rum, wenching (can men be wenches? I mean I know they can be bas…oh, well, men-wenching), and freedom. I long for the dissolute life. Probably because I’m so damned Amish. The Other Side calls to me…Freedom calls to me. Bobblehead Jack agrees. Well, he should, he put the idea in my head, after all. He said it, tapping his rum bottle to Miss Swann’s, when they were toasting. “To Freedom!” Aye, to freedom.
And I admit there is a lure there. It cannot be denied as I sit at this desk, staring at folders, watching my single, all-I-need-now-is-a-damned-cat life unfurl before me as I continue to do folders and people please and defer. Not Jack. Not if you’re a pirate. You please yourself—and you make every moment count because you’re not going to live long enough to need a damned cat. (Though they do make good companions. Don’t get me wrong.) And you don’t even bemoan the fact you’re single and rootless, without family—because you have friends who are like family—and you have all the bed companionship you want once you hit port. Well, at least if you’re Jack. I imagine I could do all right if that’s what I sought. Show up naked and bring beer—I could have all the companionship a girl could want.
Plus I’d get to sail a ship and live on the ocean…and being a Pisces, that almost holds more lure than having all the rum we can handle, and I assure you, Pisces are horrible alcoholics. Where’s my rum?
If you could do anything else right now? Rock star, Vegas show girl, oh, hell, school teacher—what would it be—and why? How DO you figure out what career you should be in?
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7 comments:
Love the tags. I want someone to pay me to travel. Wonder if I could find a travel writing job. Now that would be awesome!
And I think you need some sunshine. Things always look better with a bit of sunshine. And rum but you seem to have that covered. *g*
I agree with Ter about the sunshine. And, if you have an English degree, there's plenty of stuff you can do! I worked in mortgages, you could do marketing, blah blah. Frankly, with a degree in bullshit, er, English, you have the ability to talk yourself into anything. :)
I don't want a new job; I was a trust fund.
*want* a trust fund. Yeesh.
A trust fund would ROCK!
I think the sunshine is a big factor too, Hellion! I get a littly nutty around February. I need warmth and I need sun!
I know how you feel, though. I've been re-thinking my decision to be a stay at home mom recently. Being responsible for two other human beings gets a little daunting at times. And I definitely feel as if I'm getting weaker and they're getting stronger!
But then I think about actualy going out into the work force again... dealing with a boss, punching a time clock, packing a lunch, maybe even (horror of horrors) having to wear nylons again... and I figure - forget it, I'll learn how to be a better mom/homemaker!
Basically, I think I just want to *run away* and not have to be the family Blackberry anymore. I also want to do what I want to do and not have to give in to a husband or kids just to keep the peace. I'm actually making it sound worse than it really is. I have a great life and am thankful for it, it just gets stifling some times and I don't think I'm as good at is as I could be.
Hey Marnee, I've never met anyone with a trust fund! That rocks (or maybe it doesn't). You make it sound like it's not all it's cracked up to be. What's the downside?
Irish - now I think you're the one who needs the rum. Stop beating yourself up! You're a terrific mom and a terrific wife and a fantastic person. Ok, I'm assuming on the first two but I know the third for sure.
No one is as good at anything as they think they should be. And I love Marnee's idea that you can BS your way into anything. Since 1993, I've worked in offices doing clerical work at various levels. And for 8 years I was a disc jockey. I had no prior experience or training for any of this and my only degree was an Associates in the Music/Video Business. Trust me, Marnee is totally right. LOL!
Thanks for the kind words, Ter! You're a sweetie. I'm feeling much better about things this week. I don't wanna scare you or anything, but if there's any way you can lock Isabelle away in a tower until she's 18, I think you'll save yourself a lot of grief!
I agree about the job thing. It's not what you know but how well you can sell yourself. And of course... let's not forget who you know.
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