So It Begins...

What with Twilight come and...gone (well, it'll be gone in about 8 weeks or so, I imagine), I can now turn my attention back to that Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince will be out in about 8 months. 7.81 months to be exact. I have a little tracker. No idea how it works--math, you know--but the movie I was so excited and wanting to see on November 21 will actually be out July 17, 2009. Barring that WB doesn't flake out a second time and move it to Christmas 2009 to be complete prats.

I had a half-second's inkling of "waiting" to see Harry Potter 6 after the hub died down. Then I saw the second trailer. Or the actual trailer, really, the one that follows the kick-ass teaser which had me foaming at the mouth months ago. Oh, this looks good. These looks like things from the actual book! Could a miracle really have happened?

Anyway, I'm doing my Harry Potter dance, focused in on the release date with all the single-minded obsessiveness of a native-born Missouri deerhunter, counting down days until the next time he can deer hunt. Which by the way, is in December. I know, I didn't care to know that trivia either, but if I'm going to be burdened with that useless bit of info, it's only fair you should be too.

Anyway, here are the current stats for when Harry Potter will be in theaters. Obess with me. You know you want to.

Months: 7.81
Weeks: 33
Days: 234.33
Hours: 5,640
Minutes: 337,458
Seconds: 20,246,658.17

Contest

No, I'm not featuring a contest. But Amazon is.

If you're a Harry Potter fan...or even an Amazon.com fan, this is the contest for you.

Go here, and play.

No fee. Just be willing to be one of a billion entries that's filtered out...and take the chance that you might be one of the ones. I've already entered. Wish me luck...and meanwhile, I wish you luck. One of us should get the chance to go!

And if you don't win the Grand Prize, there's always the second prize. :)

Old Obession Thursday

Normally I don't write on my personal blog so often, but clearly I'm procrastinating on...well, everything.

And the Daylights Savings Time has totally #(%)*#()$#* up my week.

So I was up till 1 am finishing Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows--there is a certain point of the book where you literally can't put the book down, you have to start doing stuff one-handed and hope you don't, oh, crash your car and stuff.

So I've finished up the annual "Christmas" read of all the books, which is basically what I've done since I've started the series. Harry Potter is very...well, Christmasy in the way. Christmas is a big deal to him--so I read them at Christmas.

I read The Goblet of Fire for what, the tenth time? I honestly don't know; and in book 3, Harry acquires a map. In Goblet of Fire, a professor BORROWS this map and doesn't return it. Seriously. I realized suddenly he doesn't have his map back by the end of this book; and in book 5, when Harry is clearly holding the map once again, there is no explanation HOW this occurred?

So I'm calling out to other fans, does anyone *know* how he got the map back? Did I misread my 10th reading of book 4 and my whatever reading of book 5 and he did get it back?? Please help me. It's been driving me mad, and MuggleNet Staff won't return my emails.

Quiz Results

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
You scored as a Hermione Granger
You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out.

Hermione Granger

85%

Ron Weasley

80%

Harry Potter

75%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Sirius Black

70%

Severus Snape

65%

Remus Lupin

65%

Ginny Weasley

65%

Draco Malfoy

60%

Lord Voldemort

45%

The Hero's Journey: A Rant

For those Potter readers without the benefit of a liberal college education and who somehow circumvented having to take a mythology class, a head's up: STAR WARS was not the original hero's journey, so therefore JK Rowling did not steal Spielburg's idea.

I can hear you croaking now, but it's true. "Snape is Hans Solo..."--blah, blah, blah. No. Spielburg stole it first. Actually he didn't exactly "steal it" because he simply used a story arc that has been used since the flipping beginning of time called: The Hero's Journey.

Stories, as you might not realize or understand if you think they're all supposed to mean something and change the world like Rushdie's Satanic Verses, are about the Human Experience. If you're writing something outside of the human experience, while you can gloat you actually wrote about an "original idea", no one will actually give a damn because no one will understand it since it sits outside the relevance of what we know and understand. We understand ambition, hate, greed, power, God or the Higher Being, jealousy, sloth, temptation, lust, goodness and charity, friendship, death, loss, fear, family, and love. We've all felt these, been captured by these...maybe fallen into hell by these...but I assure you, these aren't "original". They are Timeless though.

So if you want to say JK Rowling's writing voice is boring; that you just couldn't get into the world she's drawn--FINE. That's logical. I don't exactly get into Homer's voice either, but he tells a damn fine hero's journey too. But don't say she's unoriginal because she stole her ideas from STAR WARS because it's just not true. Nor did she steal them for Tolkien...or the other thousands of other fantasy writers who's penned a fantasy novel.

#1: The gray-bearded mentor ALWAYS dies because the hero must face the BIG BAD EVIL all by himself. That's how it's always been--since Beowulf. #2: The hero must always "die" (usually to save everyone)--but is then resurrected. Jesus comes to mind--I suppose you're going to say he stole it from somebody, Beowulf, perhaps?

And in the hero's journey, the hero returns to the "normal world" to live Happily Ever After, a reward for conquering all that was evil and unjust. The ultimate boon. Usually with the sassy redheaded girl he meets along his journey.

Thank you. And I will stop reading people's reviews of Deathly Hallows because it's obviously just pissing me off!

Mea culpa: So sorry--George Lucas rather than Steven Spielburg wrote and directed Star Wars--not that I give a f*ck.

Harry...

Well, I can't tell you. I'd probably he lynched by some Potterite who hadn't finished the book but was still bothering to patrol the net for spoilers...but it's ended. I can stop obsessing about it, just as soon as I read the book a second time, which I plan to do this week.

I will mention a couple of my favorite moments:

1) When Ron Returns: "You...complete...arse...Ronald...Weasley!" God, I love Ron & Hermione together. They are a riot.

2) When Ron Punches Draco: "That's the second time we're saved you, you two-faced git!"

3) When Severus Snapes Reveals All: OMG, Alan Rickman, can I please have your babies?

4) When Harry d... Oh, I said I was only going to mention a couple. Oh, well, then...carry on.

What did you all think of the book? The ending's a little crazy, right? Lots of stuff that didn't make sense? Did you love it or loathe it?

10 hours....

You know your obsession has gotten the better of you, when you can't hardly plan a date because you'll be too busy reading about what happens to Harry. "I'm really sorry. I promise I'll be a lot more fun once this book is read...and a lot more available." Sad, sad. Hell, my Captain Jack Sparrow fantasy life has been shunted aside for Harry. (Jack wasn't near as understanding.)

Tonight, I'm going to the movie again, then I'll have some butterbeer (1 cup cream soda and 2 tablespoons butterscotch schnapps), then we'll go stand in line (the Peasant line because we didn't preorder through B&N) to get our books. Mind you, my OTHER copy of the book is coming by owl...and I didn't want to take a chance on the owl getting lost on the way to my house. Or actually the far more likely prospect: being shot on the way to my house...or becoming a part of someone's truck grill. (That last one has actually happened.)

Pray Harry lives...we won't know what to do with me if he doesn't. (A Cheering Charm will not work.)

Who Would You Jump?

After a scintillating conversation with my normally very practical girlfriend, I realized we share a secret obsession with “bad boy” villain characters. Of course, let’s be real, we always had an unhealthy fascination for bad boys. We both loved Bo Duke, and it’s gone downhill from there.

She confessed a current obsession with Lucius Malfoy, who played quite a role in Harry Potter 5, and with his long blonde hair and his big stick he carries—well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why she wants to jump him. He’s quite jumpable. Myself, I played the Sirius card. Not only did he have long hair (a bit curly which I always love), he had the goatee going on. Men with goatees and a bit of a badass—irresistible to women. I cannot express this enough. (My friend said Sirius was very fine—and she too like goatees, but that Lucius currently held her attention. She was very shamefaced since he always says horrible things. I said, “Who cares? You weren’t planning to hold a conversation with him.” This cheered her considerably.)

Then I pointed out that Lucius wouldn’t have anything to do with her anyway, since she’s a Muggle, she said she’d impress (actually I think her word was “dazzle”) him so much with her witching skills, he’d totally forget she wasn’t a pureblood. I said this was a great plan; then said I would work on giving Sirius a “cheering charm” (since he’s so depressed and broody) but that I’d probably start simply with a Muggle trick of “flashing first” to see if that had any effect. As Dumbledore said, start with the simple charm first—since it’s always best to go with the simple answer first.

So which character from the Harry Potter movies would you most like to jump and why? And how would you go about it? Okay, maybe not the last question…I’m sorta afraid of the responses I might get.

Hellion's Holiday

So I was gone Thursday & Friday. (Did you miss me? Of course, you did.)

There's too much to talk about what happened Thursday and Friday, so I'll just share some various conversation snippets of the last few days:

* * *
Holly: *handing a Bertie Bott's Bean to Pam* Here, try the earthworm flavor. It tastes like dirt, but with something a bit zesty.
Hellion: *chomping hers* Yes, it IS like dirt with something more. Something meaty. *casts look in rearview mirror at Pam, who looks positively disgusted*
Holly: Liver I think.
Hellion: Good one!
*Pam takes a dainty nibble off the end of the earthworm flavor, making gakking sounds*
Holly: *realizing we've tried all the flavors* Anyone else want another bean? We've gone through them all.
Pam: *still delicately gakking* Soap. Give me another soap.
Holly: Really? You liked the soap?
Pam: I'm trying to get the DIRT out of my mouth.
Holly: Oh, well, that'll do it.

* * *
While watching the lame magician at the Harry Potter feast, disturbed our $45 went toward paying for this guy.

Professor Snap: You know Harry Potter has that scar on his forehead; in high school I had a big L on my forehead so I could totally empathize...
Pam: *leaning over to whisper* You mean, it's not still there?
Hellion: *bursting into hysterical laughter, non-Snap related*

* * *
Several times during the day.

Hellion: Where did Holly go? I can't find her. We're going to be late [or: kicked out of the store because it's closing. or: really late...]

* * *
On the phone.

Pam: So do you think you'll want to go to happy hour?
Hellion: God, I have a headache...let me take something. *yawning* I did promise to go. *click, my phone hangs up* Son of a bitch.... *redials, gets Pam* Sorry, the phone's acting wonky.
Pam: Do we know where we want to go? *click, my phone hangs up again*
Hellion: Son of a bitch! *redials, apologizes to Pam a second time* No, I don't even feel like drinking at the moment. It's so hot. *click, the phone hangs up a third time* Arrggh!

* * *

At the bar. After three beers.

Brad: And then... *gestures, his arms swinging and accidentally a bowl goes flying off our tiny rickety table and crashes to the floor spectacularly; we stare in horror*
Waitress: I'm cutting you off.
Brad: *pointing at me* She did it.
Hellion: *wondering if I might have, can't really remember* Well, it was good of you to take the blame for my klutzy ways...

* * *

After the fourth beer.

Brad: *says something funny as I'm taking a drink of beer*
Hellion: *spits the beer all over Brad and Chris, coughs* I'm sorry, shit, I'm really sorry.
Brad: That's okay. I broke a bowl.

Ten minutes passes.

Brad: *says another funny thing; probably that he was Greek and that was why he broke the bowl--which is clearly untrue since he's fair complexed and freckled*
Hellion: *spits another mouthful of beer, really splashing both Chris and Brad* Oh fuc...
Brad: *laughing* It's okay...
Hellion: *mopping up with napkin* No, this is really bad manners. I usually swallow.

So I had a really fun holiday...and I didn't even talk about the cardmaking portion of my weekend. How was your weekend? What did you do?

Harry Update

Harry lives! Or at least he does for the next 10 days.

I'm halfway through book 6 (this is probably my second or third reading of the book--and I find myself devouring the book just as rapidly as I did the first time)--and wonder what the hell I'm going to do to bide my time between now and July 21.

Thursday, I will be gone all day. A Harry Potter feast in a castle AND to see the movie.

Friday, gone all day. Probably going to see the movie again (with the friend who can't go to KC with us to the feast & movie); and I'm probably going to get my hair cut. I might even go to a Happy Hour.

Saturday will be card-making--and I've got new Pirate stamps, so be prepared everyone. All Hellion gifts you may receive in the future will probably have a pirate stamp somewhere on it.

Sunday, I will probably sleep...though I really need to write. I'm such a schmuck. I haven't written anything on Ben in weeks! (Though I did write a bit on Adam & Eve & Lizzie & Lucy.)

THEN it will be a WEEK of waiting until the book is released. I foolishly ordered my book through Amazon--super saving shipping--so I probably won't even get it until the 25th...and then I'll have a critique group meeting the Saturday of the 28th; and the week after I'm going to Virginia. Oh, well, there's always the plane rides. It IS the last book. I suppose I can "savor" it.

How many betting I'm going to cave on Saturday, July 21st, if it doesn't arrive by mail and drive to B&N and BUY a copy to read that day?

What I Always Talk About

18 days until Harry Potter 7 is in stores. 18 days. I remember when it was 18 weeks and I didn't think July would ever get here.

I'm currently engrossed in book 5, in my bid to re-read the series again before the movie & book hit the theaters/stores. (A faculty member, upon realizing I wasn't just reading book 5 but all of them, blinked and said, "Okay. If that's how you want to spend your summer." I didn't take her to heart. Her idea of a great book involved a tortoise and a baby rhino, both victims of the tsunami in India. Whatever. I mean, it really doesn't compare to the life and death tension I'm facing with Harry and the gang.)

Last night I watched (after a day of "napping" so much I actually got a headache) Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility. I can't decide which one I like better. It used to be S&S, no contest, but the more I watch the new P&P, the more it grows on me. (I'm sorry, Colin. You'll always be Mr. Darcy to me.)

As usual with my Sundays, I read all day and didn't write anything on my WIP or my other WIP...or well, I didn't write some notes about a blog, but not for this blog.

And POTC3 was still listed in the top 10 movies. Hurrah. It was #8. :) I love you, Jack!

So what Sunday things did you do? The same as you always do? Anything new? Watch any favorite movies?

Regression

So I was at the grocery store, looking at the books (there was one about Camelot I wanted to find, Camelot's Destiny?? I don't remember), and suddenly I see IT. I squeal, lunge at the shelves, and pick up the coloring book.

Harry Potter.

Pictures from all five movies.

Clearly I must have it. I gladly pay the $5 for it, though normally I would never pay that much for a coloring book. Any coloring book. I go home before I recall: I have no crayons.

So last night I wandered over to Wally World, a box of crayons at the top of my list. Just above a roasted chicken. I broke down and bought the 96 box of crayons. I was tempted to try the 120 box, since it came in what looks like a cigar box, but refrained. Then I wandered down a few more steps, and lo, a coloring book of Pirates of the Caribbean! Poster sized floor coloring sheets, it advertised...and lots of representations of Jack. It was mine. I threw it into the cart.

Once I got home and ate my roasted chicken (discounted, no less), I started on a picture of Jack, then put it away when his boots sucked up about half my brown crayon. I pulled out the Harry Potter book and flipped through it for twenty minutes, choosing carefully which page I wanted to color. I finally picked one with Harry & Ron, and I began to color to my heart's content as I watched Flags of Our Fathers.

So...are there any childhood toys or memories you have that you can't resist revisiting whenever you get the chance? Me, I liked to draw and color. Occasionally if I'm in a park, I'll find myself hanging upside down from the nearest gym bar and shrieking like a monkey. I like to blow bubbles with my gum and pop it next to someone's ear. And whenever I see a carosel I can actually ride on, I lose my mind picking out the right horse. (It's usually a fierce black one who looks like he's going at a full gallop....)

All Things Harry Potter (warning: this blog may contain obsessive raves)

Today is June 21, and while to most people this only means: "hey, it's the first day of summer", for me (who shuns sunlight like a vampire), it means: in exactly one month, I'll have Harry Potter's newest (and last) book in my hot little hands and I will finally, finally have all the big questions answered.

Warning: if you write "Harry Potter is going to die" in the comments, as a dictator, I will delete it. Just saying. Cast your John the Baptist bits of doom on someone else's blog. I am obviously too narrow-minded to consider the possibility.

Okay. Per your request, I have come up with a short guide to dating a la Harry Potter. And it goes like this:

Number 10: Be moody, broody, and slightly mad. It worked for Lord Byron, and it probably helps if you’re also known as “mad, bad, and dangerous to know.” This worked well for Harry in book 5, where he finally got to snog a girl.

Number 9: Transfiguring your date into a supermodel will probably not get you a second date with them. Transfiguring yourself might. Swallowing some Polyjuice Potion might work for you, as well; however, keeping Orlando Bloom or Jude Law locked in a trunk so you can have access to stray hairs will most likely get you jail time for being a complete stalker/kidnapper. (Might just be cheaper, less law-breaking, to do a Hugh Grant.)

Number 8: Falling in love with yourself is the beginning of a life long affair. Ask Professor Lockhart.

Number 7: Be careful not to break your wand under stressful circumstances. “Making magic” with a broken wand is nie onto impossible.

Number 6: If you find yourself bickering with someone of the opposite sex all the time, you are in love with this person. You won’t know it though until she starts dating a complete prat because you live in complete denial.

Number 5: If blind adoration doesn’t work (and it never does), pretend to fall in love with someone else to make your Girl/Guy of Your Dream realize you’re a limited commodity. (Supply and demand has ruled since Eve and the apple.) Lead him on a merry chase as you happily date other idiots until GOYD kisses you in the middle of the Common Room.

Number 4: Fall in love immediately with someone who doesn’t know you exist. Wear your heart on your sleeve for years and blush profusely anytime he/she talks to you. Promptly get yourself possessed by the Evil Villain so he/she has to rescue you—at least that way he/she knows you exist.

Number 3: Tamp off jealous rages that the GOYD is dating a complete prat by accusing her/him of showing disloyalty to country, school, or common friends. Make something up if necessary. Guilt is a necessary and viable dating tool to get you to make out with GOYD.

Number 2: When asking a girl out to a dance, separate her from the “Pack”. This will be difficult since we all know women do everything in groups of two or more, even going to the bathroom—which is completely absurd since there is no such thing as two toilets in one stall.

Number 1: When you finally find the love of your life, break up with her to “protect her” from the bad guys and thereby let everyone in the world know that you’re just as much of an idiot as the next guy—because we all know this whole heroic ploy will have been useless when the villain kills her anyway and you wasted valuable time you could have been using to make out with her. Dumbass.

So what dating advice have you gleaned from Harry Potter? Or any movie really? I might be having another date again, eventually, I could use all the advice I can get.

Good Old Monday

POTC3: comes out in 45 days
Ranger: Babes us in 70 days. (What's that? 9 weeks?)
Harry: Hopefully doesn't die in 102 days.

Coffee Date is tomorrow, after work.

Gary Allan, by the way, the best thing to happen to Country Music.

Harry Update

I didn't want Harry to feel neglected that I'm still babbling about Captain Jack (but really, why wouldn't I be babbling about Jack? We have much more in common than Harry and me--and plus Jack always brings rum. He's also not as shy in the bath as Harry can get when approached by a strange girl fanatic. Plus Jack has a higher sense of self-preservation than Harry, who seems to court trouble on purpose. Say what you will of cowards, but he who fights and runs away can run away another day.)

116 days until the last book release.

32 more days until the HALF WAY mark of waiting. Woohoo!