Hellion's Holiday

So I was gone Thursday & Friday. (Did you miss me? Of course, you did.)

There's too much to talk about what happened Thursday and Friday, so I'll just share some various conversation snippets of the last few days:

* * *
Holly: *handing a Bertie Bott's Bean to Pam* Here, try the earthworm flavor. It tastes like dirt, but with something a bit zesty.
Hellion: *chomping hers* Yes, it IS like dirt with something more. Something meaty. *casts look in rearview mirror at Pam, who looks positively disgusted*
Holly: Liver I think.
Hellion: Good one!
*Pam takes a dainty nibble off the end of the earthworm flavor, making gakking sounds*
Holly: *realizing we've tried all the flavors* Anyone else want another bean? We've gone through them all.
Pam: *still delicately gakking* Soap. Give me another soap.
Holly: Really? You liked the soap?
Pam: I'm trying to get the DIRT out of my mouth.
Holly: Oh, well, that'll do it.

* * *
While watching the lame magician at the Harry Potter feast, disturbed our $45 went toward paying for this guy.

Professor Snap: You know Harry Potter has that scar on his forehead; in high school I had a big L on my forehead so I could totally empathize...
Pam: *leaning over to whisper* You mean, it's not still there?
Hellion: *bursting into hysterical laughter, non-Snap related*

* * *
Several times during the day.

Hellion: Where did Holly go? I can't find her. We're going to be late [or: kicked out of the store because it's closing. or: really late...]

* * *
On the phone.

Pam: So do you think you'll want to go to happy hour?
Hellion: God, I have a headache...let me take something. *yawning* I did promise to go. *click, my phone hangs up* Son of a bitch.... *redials, gets Pam* Sorry, the phone's acting wonky.
Pam: Do we know where we want to go? *click, my phone hangs up again*
Hellion: Son of a bitch! *redials, apologizes to Pam a second time* No, I don't even feel like drinking at the moment. It's so hot. *click, the phone hangs up a third time* Arrggh!

* * *

At the bar. After three beers.

Brad: And then... *gestures, his arms swinging and accidentally a bowl goes flying off our tiny rickety table and crashes to the floor spectacularly; we stare in horror*
Waitress: I'm cutting you off.
Brad: *pointing at me* She did it.
Hellion: *wondering if I might have, can't really remember* Well, it was good of you to take the blame for my klutzy ways...

* * *

After the fourth beer.

Brad: *says something funny as I'm taking a drink of beer*
Hellion: *spits the beer all over Brad and Chris, coughs* I'm sorry, shit, I'm really sorry.
Brad: That's okay. I broke a bowl.

Ten minutes passes.

Brad: *says another funny thing; probably that he was Greek and that was why he broke the bowl--which is clearly untrue since he's fair complexed and freckled*
Hellion: *spits another mouthful of beer, really splashing both Chris and Brad* Oh fuc...
Brad: *laughing* It's okay...
Hellion: *mopping up with napkin* No, this is really bad manners. I usually swallow.

So I had a really fun holiday...and I didn't even talk about the cardmaking portion of my weekend. How was your weekend? What did you do?

TGIF

Terri won. Of course, she’s the only one who submitted formal answers—and she got 6 out of 10 right. I mean, that’s good. Usually I refer to these men as “The Weeper” or “The Coffee Guy”. I will have to think of something appropriate to send Terri. I did greatly appreciate Christie’s response of: “These all sound like something Jack would say.” *coughing fits of laughter* That should at least get an honorable mention—being once I read the statements again and thought about Jack; yeah, they do all pretty sound like stuff Jack would say.

Took a quiz earlier this week. http://www.tomorrowland.us/tlm/ It was: Are you a Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin? I was a Talent. I’m pretty sure this had to do with the fact it asked me, “If you got to do your dream job, would you do it for a pay cut?” Sure, I said, if it was really a DREAM job. I mean, if I got to give sponge baths to Ranger all day—if that was my job—hell yeah, I’d take a pay cut.

That’s probably not what they meant, but I don’t really give a crap.

And really that’s the point of Today’s Rambling, brought to you by “I don’t give a Crap” toilets. It’s Friday, my favorite day of the week, and this particular Friday is next to a big drinking holiday. Find me a beer and someone to bullshit with, and I’m going to pretend all the other somewhat-crappy stuff that went on this week did not happen. Because you know what? It doesn’t matter—it’s over now—and I can go about with deleting those unnecessary memory cells with pitchers of Miller Lite. Then to finish off the evening, I’ll trot across the parking lot and watch that new Gerry Butler movie—you know the one where he’s half-clothed and all passionate and gung-ho? Yeah, I don’t remember the title either—it doesn’t matter. My drunk ass will ask the ticket guy: “I want to see the naked Gerry Butler film. No, I’m not kidding…it’s playing here.”

Well, that’s the intent anyway. I might just be content with the beer and bullshitting.

Happy Friday, Everyone!