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Friday, December 14, 2007

Christmas Procrastination

I'm the worst present giver ever.

I blame my parents. They were awful about presents too. I inherited it honestly. I shop last minute, if I shop at all; I usually tell you what I got before you get to unwrap it; and that's if I wrap it and it's not in a Walmart shopping bag with the tags still attached.

This year, despite my love of Christmas (I do usually have to decorate and make Oreo truffles and give out one wrapped gift), I haven't done jack shit.

Oh, I've bought stuff for me. Dec 4, POTC: AWE came out on DVD, and you bet your sweet ass it was pre-ordered back in October. Dec 11, HP5 came out on DVD, and I ordered that before you could say, "Expelliarmus!" and blast me away from the keyboard.

This is frustrating for friends who want to buy me things they know I like, but I beat them to the punch. On the upside, if there is a pirate or HP reference whatsoever on the item, I will bounce up and down, screaming like a lunatic, announcing to the world: "This is the best gift ever!"--and my friend will point out. "They're just pencils. Have you even looked at the other items? I bought you a Ferrari!" "Look!" I'll scream, "Will Turner's face is right there! Isn't he dreamy?"

But enough about my gifts. It's December 14--and have I shopped?

Yes.

Finally.

After weeks and weeks of procrastinating. I ordered some stuff. Only one item for me (don't worry, it wasn't on anyone's radar that I even wanted it; nobody would ever guess), and the rest for friends.

Family gifts, yeah, I still have to do some actual shopping. But that's not the point--the point is: I might actually have to put up my tree now.

Of course, this is a given. I have to hang my new Hallmark Keepsake ornaments of Jack Sparrow on my tree. With any luck of my obsession, I might round up an even dozen before the holidays are over! Imagine a tree with a dozen Jack Sparrows hanging from it.